Mariah Knight.
[Part 3/10 of The Body Project]

It all started the summer before eighth grade. 

I spent most of my time at beaches and pools, where I had to see beautiful girls with perfect bodies every day. Once I started seeing these girls, all I could do was look in the mirror and see everything that was wrong with my body. I saw abnormally wide hips, I saw a flat chest, I saw every little imperfection that was on my face, and quite frankly I didn’t see anything beautiful.

 For two years, I covered my face under a mask of makeup, I wore loose-fitting tops so no one could see my hips, I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch at school, and when I got home I barely ate anything for dinner, and complained that I was “too full” and that I didn’t want to eat. The thing that frustrated me most was that I’d do sit ups every night, hoping something would change, but nothing ever helped because you can’t change the width of your hips. While everyone always told me that I was so skinny, I never could see it—I was completely blinded by society’s interpretation of “beautiful”. 

But when I accepted Christ into my heart at Camp United 2010, Pastor Matt Larsen spoke about how God created me in His image, that He’s perfect, and how He never make mistakes .

 I finally started to see it. 

At first I didn’t quite understand, trying to comprehend and accept the fact that an amazing God thought I was perfect the way I was, was one of the hardest things I could do; but once I finally could realize it, I was left in awe. No matter what society’s version of beautiful is, God’s type of “beautiful” is far beyond that, and He sees it in me. 

I wish that I could say that I don’t struggle with my body anymore, but I can’t because the truth is, I do. Yet, on the days where I’m struggling, God gives me a reminder that HE made me, that HE loves me, that HE thinks I’m to die for, and that HE doesn’t make mistakes. God reminds me day after day that I’m His, and that my worth is found in Him.

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These photos help to display the struggles that Mariah faced with body image, what she looks like without and with make-up, and the cleansing of her insecurities. 

For more information on Mariah’s story, or The Body Project, please contact me at KathleenSayer@gmail.com